Blah Day

I don't know how I can go from feeling content one day to so upset the next. Yesterday I really felt good about things. I had decided that I was going to try to lower my stress this month and do my charting and OPK testing, but in general I was going to stay upbeat and not think negatively about it. Then today I am back to being depressed! Part of it is probably the weather- today fall definitely set in.

Just turned on some Christian music. That has helped lately. Hopefully it will do the trick today. Who knew it would be so hard to just let God be in control of your life. To decide that his will is perfect and that it will all be ok. I never knew that it could be so difficult! I know even if I can never conceive, we can still adopt a child. So really I have nothing to worry about except the timing. So I don't know why I can't just let God take this over. Sounds so easy. Months just go by so slowly when you are trying to conceive. Oh to be one of the lucky ones who it is easy for! I really want to be able to give this totally up to God. What is keeping me from doing so?