My first blog

Well I've decided to start a blog. My attempts at updating my life on my web pages weren't going so well so I decided to try this instead. Plus this will be better because it is a little more anonymous than posting on my web site and I figure this will be a place where I can vent some of my frustrations.

We've been trying to conceive for the past 8 months and I am becoming increasingly depressed. It seems like everyone around me is able to conceive with no problems. There are babies and pregnant women everywhere around me. My co-worker just came off the pill and wasn't hoping to get pregnant for 3 months, but of course got prego right away. Now she is experiencing morning sickness and I get to hear about how terrible it is daily. What I wouldn't give to be in her shoes (puking and all). As I go through this time in my life I keep asking myself why. I am a believer so I feel like there must be something that God wants me to learn out of this experience. Maybe patience, maybe trust in his plan, maybe an ability to help others in this situation? I don't know what yet.

I can't imagine going through this without faith in Him. Because I believe I know in the course of time it will all be ok, as my life is in His hands and it is his will not mine. Without that knowledge it would be so easy to spiral into depression. Even now I experience depression every month at the start of my period, but it's certainly not as bad as it could be if I didn't know my life was in His hands.

I guess this will have to be enough for today. Got to get back to studying for my test (fun fun).