37w4d

On my online due date group there was a post about what you were doing a year ago and what you hope to be doing next year. A year ago I was in a very dark place. I went to see the RE in early January and was scheduled for an IUI in February. Right now I would have been in the middle of my cycle- so that means we conceived our first about a year ago. I just realized that I took my first positive HPT on Feb 16, 2006. My official due date via u/s for this child is Feb 16, 2007. How incredibly ironic and a little bittersweet. I also had the level II u/s for this child on my original due date- it's crazy that it has worked out like this.

Now that I've realized these parallels I don't know how I feel. A little sad for my loss, but I know that I wouldn't have this child had I not lost the first one. I'm really surprised I didn't pick up on this before and am only now realizing it. I am so thankful to God that he gave me this child and in a strange way I am thankful for the road that I had to take to get here. I don't know if the joy I feel would be the same had I had to travel a different way to get here. And I know that I would not know the same peace that God can give had I not had this experience. I just hope to never forget.

On a more pg related note- I am having some PMS-like cramping today in my lower uterine region. So I'm not sure if that's BH or not. I know it's not real contractions b/c it only hurts low, not all over and through my back like the real ones. It is rather exciting b/c I hope it means that my body is getting itself prepared, although now that I've realized this about the 16th I would really like to deliver then. (But of course I will be ok with whenever as long as he/she is healthy!)

As for a boy or a girl- I think it is a girl. I still tend to call it he a lot, but I just have a girl vibe now. Or maybe it's just wishful thinking since we are having so much trouble thinking of a boys name!