Trip to the ER at 5w0d

Wednesday I had some brown spotting all day which freaked me out a little, but after reading online I decided not to call the Dr as it seems to be pretty normal. All was ok until about 4pm when it turned bright red and increased to more than just spotting. To top it off I started having mild cramps on my right side. I was terrified and called the Dr right away. Since it was the end of the day, they told me to go in to the ER to make sure it wasn't an ectopic. That is definitely not what I wanted to hear!!! I was so freaked out.

I went to the ER and they did a pelvic exam and blood test. They then put in a catheter (yuck!) and filled it to do a belly u/s. Totally unpleasant. I never want to have one of those again! They couldn't see anything on the belly one so did a vaginal u/s. She was able to see a sac, but nothing in it and it was really small but she said it was normal b/c it was so early so not to be concerned. So really I know nothing more than I did before. HCG number came back and was 2145 which is in the normal range.

I stopped bleeding and cramping and stayed home yesterday to rest. I have an appt scheduled for Monday to go into the OB. I pray the HCG will have gone up and we can see a heartbeat. I am much less freaked out now- hopefully it was nothing to worry about. I was pretty scared for a while.

I feel like if God gave me this miracle then why would He want to take it away so soon. I am at peace that it will all be fine. It's very strange b/c usually I am such a worrier.

I am spotting today and I am so worried! It is just brown and that means it is old but I am still a little worried about it! I don't know what I would do if I lost the baby! I would be so upset!! I noticed it this morning after taking a shower when I wiped. There is not a lot just some brown stuff that is in thin lines. I keep feeling my boobs to make sure they are still tender to remind myself that I am indeed still prego. I pray that this is just a normal thing and not anything I need to worry about!

It's Official! I am Pregnant :-)

Took another test on Saturday morning and there was definitely a line there- no doubt about it! So I am finally pregnant!! Yippee! I was just so excited all weekend. I wish I could bottle up the way I feel and keep it. It is such a wonderful feeling, I am just so happy. EDD is October 25.

Still have sore boobs which are a little different from PMS boobs. It doesn't just hurt at the sides, but also on the bottom and they sometimes hurt when I'm not even touching them. Not really hurt- but I just notice them now. I could never really feel them before but now I do. Other than the boobs, nothing much is different. I feel tired all the time even if I got plenty of sleep. Kind of feel in a fog. And I don't feel to fabulous when I wake up but after I eat it feels better.

It was fun telling our parents, they were all so excited and definitely weren't expecting it. My mom just sat there on the phone like she wasn't sure if she heard me correctly or not and Benji's parents just started excitedly yelling. This will be a fun 9 mos!

A line?!?

I thought for SURE I was starting my period earlier this week. On Friday I had sore boobs (like PMS boobs- back toward the armpit) and on Sunday I started spotting. It was kind of weird though- not the usual whispys, more CM like but with a brown tint. I was sooooo depressed! The spotting kept happening until Tuesday and then stopped (usually I have whispys for 1.5 days and then AF). I kept waiting for my period to start. I got up early on Wed morning thinking I'd start overnight and Nothing! So I tested this morning and I saw a faint line!!! I couldn't believe it! I had to bring it to Benji to see if he saw the line too- I wanted to make sure I wasn't just imagining it! It was so faint that I don't know if I should trust it or not. The box says that any line even if faint is positive! So I think I am going to take another test on Saturday to see- by then maybe my HCG will be up and it will be a darker line.

I am just totally shocked and thrilled! I have been negative for so long that it is hard to believe that it really may be true! I thank God for answering my prayers- I truly believe that this miracle is because of Him. I was praying so much for this. I really wanted to aviod tretment if at all possible and we were supposed to start the next cycle.

I've decided to keep track of my symptoms so I can remember this better. After ovulation I had sore nipples until Friday before my period was supposed to start. Then that went away and the back of my boobs were sore (same thing that happens for AF) so I got depressed and had 2 beers on Fri night. Sunday I started spotting- creamy light brown. This continued until Tuesday. Tested on Thursday morning. Back of boobs are still sore, other than that I can't tell that anything is any different. I should have started my period on Wednesday. I think the bleeding must have just been implantation- yippee!!

Utter Devastation

Today is a really bad day. I am starting my period as we speak. I am just so down and all I want to do is go home and cry. I was praying so much that it would happen this month since we are scheduled to start procedures next month. I feel like God has let me down. I do not understand why he will not answer my prayers.
I have to call the RE and let him know what I want to do this month- the HSG or the IUI. Benji's results turned out mostly normal. He has a low morphology, but the doctor was not overly concerned. The RE recommended going straight to IUI w/o doing any testing on me. I pressed him about doing and HSG which he thinks it is unneeded, but said he would leave the decision up to me. My head says to go for the HSG, but my heart says the IUI. I'll have to call and let them know tomorrow. Right now I'm leaning toward the IUI.
If the IUI does not work I will be devastated. I know it is too early to think about it not working, but I will really have my hopes up that it will work and I will not know what to do if it doesn't.
I found out that someone else I know is pregnant. I want to be happy for them, but I just end up feeling terrible for myself. I just can't take this anymore. Why can't we conceive a baby?